Mass Effect 2: Life is a Game
by RebukeX7
Summary: Sequel to Mass Effect: Life is a Game, read that first it can be found on 117Jorn's page. M! Shepard X F! Shepard X Harem. The Game is under new management, watch as John and Jane band together to stop the collectors! Crack-with-plot!


**Here's my attempt to continue the fic, I hope you enjoy.**

**-Prologue-**

**-Citadel: Outside Jorn's General Goods-**

"Looks like I'm second in command once again." A woman said with a sigh as she stared up at the sign of the shop. She stood slightly over six feet tall and her body had all of the right curves. She had caramel colored skin and white hair. Her hair was a slightly long, messy pixie cut and two of her bangs framing her face had been braided and dyed black. Her eyes were grey and she was wearing white lipstick. She was wearing part of a black suit. That is to say, the pants are there, and so is the top half of the black shirt, though the bottom of that has been cut-off just above her navel and neatly hemmed in place. The suit jacket was replaced with an equally sophisticated vest, though it was always left unbuttoned, and her white tie was usually quite slack. The dress shoes were also traded in for a comfortable pair of combat boots.

_*CRASH*_

The woman felt her right eye twitch as she watched the sign of the shop fall down and collapse in front of her.

"I've heard of leaving your post, but this is just damned ridiculous. Well Rebuff it looks like you've got your work cut out for you." Rebuff muttered as she kicked down the door. "Just one week until John wakes up, alright let's do this. I hope you're watching wherever you are Jorn because I'm going to show you how it's really done."

Indeed.

The Shepards had _no _idea who they were about to deal with.

**-1 week Later: Cerberus Facility-**

"Damn it Wilson, he's not ready yet! Give him the Sedative!" Miranda ordered. She then glanced down at Shepard as he raised his hand, but she grabbed it and lowered it back down "Shepard, I need you to relax."

"Heart rate is climbing," Wilson warned, "Brain activity is off the chart."

"_Of course my heart rate is climbing; I'm waking up after being dead for two years._" John thought, forcing himself not to roll his eyes.

"Stats are pushing into the red zone, it's not working!" Wilson said worried as Miranda moved out of Shepard's line of sight.

"_Oh…if they somehow kill me this time, I am going to be so pissed." _John thought in exasperation

"Another dose; now!" Miranda ordered, as Wilson did so before suddenly John began to feel sleepy once again.

"Heart rate dropping." Wilson said with a sigh of relief "Stats falling back to normal again... that was too close, we almost lost him."

Once again, Miranda appeared over John, looking down on him with a small smile before she glared back at Wilson "I told you your estimates were off," she said, "Run the numbers again!"

**~Later: Cerberus Facility~**

["_Wake up, Commander._"]

"_Showtime." _John thought with a small smirk as he felt reality return to him, soon he felt the room shake and the unmistakable sounds of distant battle reached his ears.

["_Shepard, do you hear me? You need to get out of the bed now, the facility is under-_"]

"I'm up!" John shouted, as he began to get out of the bed before stumbling slightly as he felt his blood rush to his head. "Damn vertigo" John muttered before regaining his balance "Now where are-"

["_Shepard, get moving!_"] Miranda ordered, ["_Your armor and pistol should be in the locker, hurry!_"]

"Impeccable timing!" John called out as he quickly ran to get changed into his N7 Armor. Before he could even get a good look at his pistol the door exploded giving him a way to exit the room. John ran out of the room and found a dead Cerberus operative. Sighing, John closed his eyes before taking his thermal clip.

_["Somebody has hacked the mechs and is trying to kill you!"]_

"Somebody is always trying to kill me!" John felt the need to tell the woman before he quickly dove and rolled under some nearby cover.

["Look-"]

_***BANG***_

Miranda stopped talking as John effortlessly shot the head off of an incoming LOKI Mech. The woman took a moment to clear her throat.

["Ah, yes carry on then. We need to get you to the shuttles."]

"I would hope so." John said dryly, he wasn't crazy enough to try to take on all of the enemies by himself-Jane maybe- but not him. John felt a small pang in his chest when he thought of the red-haired woman before shaking his head. _"She's fine; she can handle any problem that comes her way." _John reassured himself as he ran up the stair and out of the large room.

_["Shepard, more mechs are coming your way. Don't take any chances and take cover-"]_

_***BANG***_

_***BANG***_

_***BANG***_

_***BANG***_

_***BANG***_

**Bronze Trophy unlocked: Cover's for Pussies (Get five headshots in a row without taking cover)**

**+5,000 Credits**

["Oh stop smirking and move on."]

John said nothing as he walked forward while reloading his gun with a smirk; he could hear the slight disbelief in her. As John walked out of the room he couldn't help but think about the voice he heard in his head.

"_Trophies? I guess the game is still going on though I could have sworn they were achievements…I'll have to ask Jorn later." _John thought to himself with a small frown.

["Don't waste time; I can't keep the mechs distracted for long."]

"You're actually doing something?" John questioned as his voice was filled with slight disbelief. "I nearly got blown up and had to kill six mechs…and don't get me started on how many bodies I had to pass to get this far."

["Oh just be quiet and move on."]

"Yes Ma'am." John said with a chuckle. As he ran he noticed a grenade launcher on the ground. Picking it up he aimed at a lower level where four mechs walked out of a door.

["Here comes the mechs, use-"]

_***BOOOM***_

"Really…did you _really _feel that you needed to tell me what to do with the grenade launcher?" John questioned before pulling out his pistol again. "I'm adding three bodies and four more mechs by the way…what exactly are you doing?"

["Oh, shut up and take the elevator down one floor-"]

"Woohoo!" John shouted as he hopped over the rail and landed with a roll on the lower floor. "Sorry, but I hate elevators." John explained as he ran through the flames and out of the room.

["Damn it Shepard, we've spent over four billion credits reviving you don't get yourself killed!"]

"You know if you spent more time helping and not complaining I probably wouldn't have had to kill ten mechs." John pointed out dryly. Remembering where he ran the last time he went through this, John was able to find Jacob in record time.

"Shepard? What the hell-"

_***BANG!***_

_***BANG***_

_***BANG***_

"That's thirteen mechs woman!" John shouted at the ceiling after getting a headshot on each of the mechs that Jacob was battling. Jacob looked at Shepard with wide eyes which widened further as Miranda gave an audible sigh over the intercom. Both men quickly took cover as more mechs entered the room.

"Things must be bad if Miranda's got you running around!" Jacob said as John stood up.

_["Hostiles detected!"]_

***BANG!***

***BANG!***

"Fif-"

["Don't say a word."]

"Come on, we have to get you to a shuttle." Jacob said getting a nod from John.

"Lead the way." John said as Jacob stood up. Jacob used his biotics on the last mech and John quickly shot it down.

"Hey you guys wouldn't have happened to know the whereabouts of a woman that went by the name of Jane Shepard would you?"

"Who?" Jacob questioned in confusion making John shake his head.

"Never mind, it's nothing." John said as he waved his hand dismissively. The continued to run through the building and eventually ran in to Wilson, inwardly John really didn't want to waste medi-gel on the guy because he knew he wasn't going to last long but couldn't of a good enough reason to tell Jacob to leave him.

"Thanks Shepard never thought you'd save my life I guess that makes us even now." Wilson said with a small smile. "I thought that maybe I could shut down the security mechs. But whoever did this fried the whole system, completely irreversible."

"We didn't ask what you are doing. Why do you even have security mech clearance? You were in the bio wing."

"Maybe it's his fault everything is messed up." John piped up making both men look at him with wide eyes. "Joke, it was a joke. Calm down. We need to find some place safe; we can sort everything out then."

"Right Shepard, we need to find Miranda." Jacob said with a nod.

"Forget about Miranda, she was over in D wing. The mechs were all over that sector. There's no way she survived." Wilson said tiredly gaining their attention.

"Oh man! Thank you so much for saying that." John smiled shocking the hell out of the men.

"What the hell Shepard?" Jacob questioned in disbelief.

"What? The first person to suggest leaving someone behind is always the first to die." John explained as Wilson looked at him in horror. "That just means it won't be either of us." John said as he gestured between himself and Jacob.

**Bronze Trophy Unlocked: Dat Logic (Explain the workings of the Universe to a non-believer.)**

**+2500 credits**

"Really Shepard?" Jacob questioned dryly. "You're making jokes now of all times?"

"Ten thousand credits." John deadpanned.

"What?"

"Ten thousand credits that he doesn't make it to the shuttle." John said as he extended his hand.

"Sure, whatever." Jacob said as he shook the Commander's hand. Wilson was about to say something when two more mechs suddenly burst into the room.

"We can overload the canister to clear a path to the shuttles." Wilson drawled as they took cover.

"And you are telling me this instead of doing it…why exactly?" John questioned skeptically making the man look at him for a second before standing up and overloading the canisters, blowing up the mechs in the process and giving them a clear path to the shuttles.

"Wait before we continue, Shepard if I tell you we're working for will you-"

"Cerberus." John deadpanned making Jacob gape at him for a second.

"What? How-"

"Are you serious right now?" John questioned in disbelief. "The emblem is _everywhere_ it's been on every wall, door, and hell even your uniforms!"

"Ah…well then…do you trust us?" Jacob asked awkwardly.

"Are you still alive?" John asked back.

"Yes?"

"Then you have your answer." John said with his best poker face. "Now let's go."

**-Ten Minutes Later-**

A few dead bodies, mechs, hacks later the three found themselves in front of a door.

"You know, now that I have a chance to take a good look at things I have to ask. Are you run by idiots?" John questioned the two with a raised eyebrow.

"What do you mean? Jacob asked sounding honestly confused.

"It's just well I've been dead for two years, that's two years of technological breakthroughs, and I can still hack your stuff. And it's not like I'm some genius or anything, I'm a soldier through and through." John explained making Jacob frown in thought.

"Now that you mention it that is a bit weird."

"Enough talking, we're almost there." Wilson interrupted as he brushed passed the two men. John took a step back and pulled Jacob with him. Wilson quickly opened the door only for Miranda to appear on the other side.

"Miranda! But you were-"

***BAM!***

"Dead?" Miranda questioned as the man fell down.

"Oh you owe me so much money." John chuckled as Jacob turned to him in shock.

"What- but how did you-?"

"Soldier's intuition." John shrugged. "Don't forget there _was _a reason you guys brought me back besides my good looks." Jacob just stared at him for a moment before shaking his head and running up to Miranda.

"What the hell did you do!?'

"My job. Wilson was a traitor." Miranda informed the dark skinned man, who once again found himself turning to John in shock.

"Soldier's intuition?" Jacob questioned dryly as John smirked and shook his hand before forming devil horns with his right hand.

"Nah that time it was my Shepard-sense." John replied making the man face palm.

"Miranda, just what the hell did you bring back from the dead?" Jacob groaned.

"Even I don't know." Miranda said with a sigh of her own. "Let's go, we have to leave."

**~40 Minutes Later: Shuttle~**

Against Jacob's better judgment Miranda had decided to ask John a few questions to check his memories.

"Okay, you've gotten that one right how about something more recent. Virmire, where you decided to destroy Saren's cloning facility you had to leave someone behind, Ashley Williams was saved by a small team lead by which individual?"

"That's easy. It was Jane Shepard." John answered making Miranda and Jacob glance at each other in confusion.

"Who? Records show that she was saved by Garrus Varkarian." Miranda answered making John blink in confusion.

"That's the second time you mentioned that name, who is she there is no records of any Jane Shepard." Jacob said making John shake his head with a small frown.

"No…That can't be right, she was there since even before I became a Spectre." John said making Miranda look at him skeptically before sighing.

"Damn it, I knew it was too good to be true. There is obviously something wrong with his memories." Miranda explained. "Listen Shepard there isn't and never has been any Jane Shepard." Now John knew that inwardly that was complete bullshit, but decided not to press the issue. Whatever it was, it was probably Jane's doing anyway.

"If you don't mind me asking Shepard…" Miranda began snapping him from his thoughts. "Just _who _do you think this Jane is?"

"*Sigh* My Wife." John answered making them look at him in shock. John raised his hand to stop them from talking. "Don't tell me, I was never married?" The two Cerberus agents glanced at each other before slowly nodding making the man groan.

**-Later: Freedom's Progress-**

Having the same conversation with The Illusive Man was tedious, but John didn't want to raise any suspicions by asking the man about a woman that no one believed existed.

"What the hell was the purpose on FENRIS mechs!?" John shouted angrily as he shot the robotic dog down. "Do people make crap just to see if they can do it?"

"Just take them down! Someone programmed these mechs to take us out." Miranda said as she hit a LOKI mech with a warp.

"You don't say?" John asked sarcastically as he turned to look at her with wide eyes. Jacob snickered, but quickly cleared his throat went Miranda sent him a glare. Shaking his head when the final mech was destroyed, John ran up a flight of stairs with Miranda and Jacob behind him and stopped in front of a door. _"Alright, Cerberus may not have been any help but I know Tali can help me."_ And just like he expected, as soon as he opened the door he came face to face with a group of Quarians.

"Stop right there!" One of the Quarians commanded as John aimed his gun at them.

"Prazza! You said you'd let me handle this!" Tali said firmly as she stepped in between Prazza and Shepard. "W-wait Shepard?" Tali questioned in shock. "Keelah she was right…I owe her some many credits. She practically owns me now." Tali groaned making John smirk.

"I'm not taking any chances with Cerberus operatives!" Prazza said firmly making John roll his eyes before glancing back at Miranda and Jacob.

"You realize that if I ever get any more people to work with that aren't members of Cerberus, you two aren't coming anywhere with me ever again, right?" John asked making them look at him in confusion. "It'll just make things easier for me."

"Put those weapons down!" Tali ordered before turning back to Shepard. "Shepard is that…you're alive?"

"So Tali, you've definitely grown up since I've last saw you, nice suit." John said as he put down his Gun.

"Prazza, weapons down. This is definitely Commander Shepard." Tali informed Prazza, who holstered his weapon.

"Why is your old commander working for Cerberus?" Prazza questioned in confusion.

"I…don't know."

"They're groupies; I picked them up on the way here." John drawled making the other two humans glare at him. "Seriously though I nearly died and Cerberus spent-"

"-Two years rebuilding you. And they want you to investigate attacks on human colonies." Tali finished as she placed her head in her hands. "Keelah…one hundred million credits, I can't possibly pay that back." John wasn't sure but he thought that the woman was crying.

"Likely story, no organization would spend so many resources to bring back one soldier." Prazza said as he crossed his arms.

"You haven't seen Shepard/Me in action, Prazza." Both Tali and John said simultaneously.

"It was money well spent." Tali added. "Maybe we can help each other Shepard, we were here looking for a young Quarian named Veetor. He was here on pilgrimage."

"Isn't that a bit strange…a Quarian visiting a remote human colony?" John asked although he already knew the answer.

"Quarians can choose where they want to go on Pilgrimage. He liked the idea of helping a small human settlement, Veetor was nervous in crowds." Tali answered.

"Sounds like a good kid." John said getting a nod from Tali.

"He is." Tali nodded.

"He's also unstable." Prazza spoke up. "A damaged suit along with an infection and he's probably delirious."

"When he saw us landing he head in a warehouse on the far side of town. We also suspect that he programmed the mechs to attack anything that moved." Tali explained to her former Commander.

"Veetor's the only one that can tell us what happened here, we should team up to find him." John offered making her nod.

"So now we're working for Cerberus?' Prazza scoffed.

"No, you're working for me. If you can't follow orders than go wait on the ship." Tali told the man before turning back to an impressed Shepard. "Head for the warehouse, go for the center of the colony. We'll circle around the far side and draw off some of the drones to clear you a path."

"Wow, your people _really _don't like Cerberus." John spoke up before smirking. "I like them." Tali snickered at the looks that the Cerberus agents gave Shepard. "Alright make sure to stay in radio contact."

"Will do…" Tali began as she began to walk away. "And whatever happens, it's good to have you back."

"Wait! Almost forgot, before you leave." John began making Tali turn back to him. "Where's Jane?" Jacob and Miranda face palmed as Tali shifted awkwardly.

"To tell you the truth I lost contact with her about five months ago." Tali answered surprising the hell out of the Cerberus operatives. "She did give me a message to pass on to you, though I can't believe I actually _can _pass it on."

"Oh?" John asked curiously as he crossed his arms.

"Yes that plan 'Nuke em' was able to be made into a reality after the first year, she got a pet named fluffy, and that she was going to try to see how well mercenary work paid." Tali answered making John nod.

"Wait, fluffy?"

"I don't like Fluffy, John." Tali said sadly as she shook her head.

"What the hell _is _Fluffy?" John asked in confusion as the Quarian shuddered.

"A Thresher Maw…" Tali whispered in horror before leaving with her team, leaving behind a gaping John.

"Huh, well…that seems like Jane alright." John chuckled before turning back the two humans that were looking at him with wide eyes. "Ah yes the notion that 'Jane doesn't exist'" John said as he used air quotes. "Consider that claim dismissed." John smirked before running out the room.

**-10 Minutes Later-**

"Shepard! You have to slow down! It's true that we need to get to Veetor quickly, but over exerting ourselves will only hinder us in the long run!" Miranda called out to Shepard who hadn't stop running since they left the room.

"Trust me, we have to be quicker!" John shouted as sweat poured down his face.

"Soldier's intuition again?" Jacob questioned as he ran.

"You already know it!" John grinned before pulling out his grenade launcher and hopping down a flight of stairs. John gritted his teeth as he saw the YMIR mech fighting the Quarians. _"Damn it, why couldn't Jane or Benezia have been here I could use someone with a biotic charge to get there!"_

_**!Paragon Action!**_

***BOOOOM!***

John smirked as he was able to get the mechs attention away from the Quarians and on to him with his grenade launcher.

"Miranda! Jacob! Take it's shields down with your biotics!" John ordered as he ran in front of the Quarians. "Everyone! Back up, but do not let up your fire on it." John commanded the aliens as he pulled out his M-8 Avenger. Shepard grinned as the thing went down in no time. "And that's how you take down a mech! Look all the survivors!" Shepard smirked as the Quarians looked at the humans in shock.

_["Nice save as always Shepard."]_

"Thanks, Tali." John chuckled before turning to the panting humans. "Now let's go grab Veetor." John said as he walked towards where he knew the delirious Quarian was hiding.

**-With Veetor-**

John sighed as he, Jacob and Miranda walked into a room to find Veetor sitting in front a various screens that showed different parts of the colony.

"Monsters coming back. Mech will protect. Safe from swarms. Have to hide. No monster. No swarms. No-no-no-no." Veetor rambled as John approached him from behind and raised his left hand and typed something into his Omni-tool.

_**!Paragon Action!**_

Waving his Omni-tool, John shut down all of the monitors. Staring at the screens for a few moments, Veetor slowly stood up and turned to John.

"You're human…" Veetor said faintly. "Where did you hide? How come they didn't find you?"

"Who didn't find us?" Miranda questioned making him turn his head to her.

"The monsters, the swarms. They took everyone." Veetor explain still in shock.

"What monsters?" John questioned although he already knew the answer.

"Look." Veetor said as he turned on all of the monitors and the three humans saw footage of some sort of strange looking alien.

"What the hell is that?' Jacob question as he stared at it.

"My God…I think that's a collector."

"A who now?" John sighed; he already couldn't wait to find his wife so that he could have a conversation that didn't involve him pretending to be ignorant about something he knew.

"They're a species from somewhere beyond the Omega 4 relay. Only few have ever seen one in person." Jacob explained seriously.

"They usually work through intermediaries, like slavers or hired mercenaries. If they are involved with the Reapers somehow, it could explain what happened to the colonies." Miranda added making John nod.

"Gotcha'." John said before Veetor began talking about the swarms. As the Quarian spoke, John completely stopped paying attention and instead thought about his pet hamster.

He missed the little guy.

"We need to get the data to The Illusive Man." Miranda told Shepard seriously. "Grab the Quarian and call the shuttle to come pick us up."

"Yes, grab the mentally unstable and injured Quarian and send him to a place that is known for being anti-alien to be interrogated." John deadpanned. "Cause that just seems like a perfect idea, doesn't it?" John drawled sarcastically getting a glare from the woman as Tali entered the room. "He's all yours madam." John said with a mock bow getting a chuckle from the woman.

"You never change, Shepard." Tali said as she shook her head. "Just glad to see you're still the one giving orders." Tali added getting an understanding nod from John.

"Just let me grab Veetor's Omni-Tool data and we'll be on our way." John said getting nod from Tali. "You know, there will always be a place for you if want to work together again like old times."

"I'll keep that in mind Shepard, but I have my own mission that I need to finish first. After that we'll see." Tali explained. "Also I got a message from Jane." Tali informed John making him widen his eyes. "She said if you know _anything _about her, you know where to find her." John frowned in thought at the strangely cryptic message before going over everything he knew about the woman.

"Of course…" John groaned with a face-palm making Tali laugh at his expense. "What the hell did she get herself in to?"

"Even I don't know Shepard but she did add that she succeeded where you failed twice." John gritted his teeth as he clenched his fist angrily.

It all made sense. He finally understood how she escaped Cerberus.

"That…lucky…BITCH!" John shouted as he glared at the ceiling making his two human companions look at him with wide eyes. He could swear that he could _hear_ her laughing at him from across the stars.

**-2 Hours Later: Cerberus Facility-**

"…I got you a pilot, one of the best around, someone you can trust." The Illusive Man said.

"Holy Shit. I owe her _so _much money…" A voice said in horror making John smirk as he turned around to see a gaping Joker.

**-10 minutes Later-**

"I can't believe this, I saw you get spaced!" Joker said as they walked through the corridors of the facility.

"It'll take more than that to get rid of Commander John Shepard!" John said proudly as he followed the pilot. "How'd you end up here?"

"It all fell apart without you commander." Joker began before sighing. "Jane left saying she had to prepare for when she'd see you again, we all thought it was the grief, and without either of you-everything you guys stirred up- the council wanted it gone. The team was broken up, records sealed, and I was grounded so hell yeah I joined Cerberus. Also between you and me, Jane got her wish. "

"Wish?" John questioned in confusion.

"Saren's dead." Joker sighed making John blink in shock. For a year and a half, Saren had begun preaching about unity between the species after Jane's near sacrifice for him and he managed to get a huge following of not just Humans, and Turians but other aliens as well.

"So why did she kill him?" John questioned in confusion making Joker shake his head.

"I'll never forget it."

**-Flash Back: 6 months ago: Citadel Apartment-**

"So this is where you've been hiding?" Joker chuckled as he entered the room and saw a woman with shoulder length red hair and burning crimson eyes. She was wearing a black sports bra and a pair of black Cargo pants and matching combat boots. Along with all of this was a single crimson scar that went up the side of her cheek. She smiled at him as she began to reassemble a gun.

"Yup, did you place the shuttle where I told you to?" Jane inquired getting a confused nod as she finished reassembling her Black Widow. "How crowded is it out there?"

"Very, I never thought I'd see so many humans and other aliens gather to see Saren of all people. I can't believe he changed, I guess you blaming all of his actions on the Reapers was a good thing." Joker chuckled making the woman snort.

"He didn't change at all." Jane drawled as she approached the window, and looked outside to see Saren giving so emotional speech. "I poisoned him and refused to give him the antidote unless he did this for a year and a half." Jane revealed as she took aim with the sniper. "He's my own little project: The False-Shepherd."

"What the hell? Why!" Joker asked perplexed.

"You ever witness the birth of a Martyr?" Jane questioned quietly as she aimed down her scope.

"N-No?" Joker said with wide eyes as he began to get an idea of what was going on.

**!RENEGADE ACTION!**

_***BAM!***_

_*CRASH*_

"Well you just did." Jane drawled as she turned to the wide-eyed Joker. "I just pushed inter-species relations forward a few decades. Now let's go, the confusion won't last that long."

**-Flashback: End-**

"Damn…" John muttered getting a nod from Joker.

"I know right? I hadn't been so scared in my life, we were almost caught but I'm not the best pilot for nothing. Just keep it on the DL and never bring it up again."

"Of course." John said as they approached a window.

"Look at his baby." John already knew what was coming, but he'd be damned if that slow motion reveal of the _Normandy SR-2_ didn't make a single tear slide down his cheek as Joker mirrored his actions

"*Sniff* Damn, that's beautiful." Joker managed to get out.

"I-I couldn't agree more *Sniff*."

**Silver Trophy Unlocked: That's Mah Ship (Acquire the **_**Normandy SR-2**_**)**

**+ 10,000 Credits**

"

Well let's get started." John smirked making Joker nod before raising an eyebrow.

"Just…try to stay calm. Those scars look very similar to Jane's, which brings a lot more questioned that I want answered eventually, just stay calm when we pick her up we don't need two of her running around trigger happy." John smirked to himself as he thought about the fact that technically there were already two of her running around.

"Give me credit Joker; I am much too calm and collected to end up like her."

**-5 Hours Later: Normandy SR-2-**

Well after (re-) introducing himself to his 'new' crew, John had gone to visit the councilors along with Miranda and Jacob. Sure he remembered them making him angry…but the problem was he forgot _how much. _

"Uhh…Shepard?" Jacob asked carefully as they re-entered the ship, hell even Miranda was staring at the back of the commander with slightly wider eyes.

"Should have let them die, should have let them die, should have fucking let them die." That seemed to be John's mantra as he stormed back into the ship, the crew members backed up slightly as the seemed to have a permanent glare on his face. "He air-quoted me…again!" John muttered in disbelief.

**! RENEGADE ACTION!**

"EDI, tell Joker to get us to Omega. Now!" Shepard thundered making a few of the crew members flinch.

_["Yes, commander."]_

As John stormed through the _Normandy _and eventually found himself face to face with Kelly Chambers.

"Hello commander." Kelly greeted with a smile as John glared at her. John's unwavering glare met her unwavering smile. It was truly a showdown of epic proportions.

…

…

…

"Hello Kelly." John smiled shocking the hell out the crewmembers that saw the exchange. He couldn't help it, the woman was contagious. "I'll be heading up to my quarters now."

"Make sure you relax well! You've got a no-doubt tough mission coming."

"Will do." John said politely as he left to go get a power nap.

**-Later: Omega-**

"So who are we going to get first Shepard? Solus or Archangel?" Jacob questioned curiously as he Shepard and Miranda walked through a tunnel.

"Neither." John answered seriously confusing them both. "We're picking up Jane first." John informed them making them frown. Truthfully they were curious about this unknown woman; they had information of every member of the first _Normandy _even those crew members that never saw any combat. SO for them to miss someone who was apparently a key member was troubling to say the least.

"To be honest I thought you were crazy, but unless you somehow got the Quarian to play a prank on us this 'wife' of yours apparently existed." Miranda said making him chuckle as she still had a tone of doubt in her voice. She really did have too much faith in Cerberus. John looked up as he saw a Salarian run towards them.

"Ah! Welcome to Omega you are new aren't you? I can always tell. Allow me to-"He stopped when a Batarian walked up next to him. "Oh, hi there Moklan-"

"Leave Fargut, now." Moklan said coldly.

"Of course, Moklan. Whatever she wants!" Fargut said hurriedly before running away.

"Blasted Scavengers." Moklan muttered as he shook his head. "Welcome to Omega Shepard."

"Thank you." John said with a nod.

"Aria wants to know what a dead Spectre_, who has now cost her a lot of money, _is doing in Omega. I suggest you go to Afterlife now and present yourself." Moklan said seriously.

"I was headed there anyway, thanks for the info." John said making the Batarian nod and walk away. The three continued their trek thought Omega and eventually came to the entrance of Afterlife.

"Go in, Aria is expecting you." The bouncer said making John nod as he entered the club. John glanced around the hallway they were walking through and his eyes landed on a group of Batarians that turned to stare at him.

_**!Paragon Action!**_

"Don't try it." John warned as he raised his pistol and kept walking making the aliens pause before resuming their conversation.

"Well, you seemed to really know how this place works." Miranda drawled making him chuckle.

"Feels like home." Shepard shrugged. That was a complete lie, it was nothing like living with his parents but he felt the need mess with her head. Seeing her perplexed expression let him now that he successfully trolled the woman.

"Well I'm jealous." Jacob chuckled as he could tell John was just screwing with Miranda. "I wish my house had this many Asari strippers."

"Yup. It was heaven, now come on Aria should be just up these steps." John said as he quickly walked up to stairs to find Aria sitting back on her couch as her guards stood up. However unlike last time there was one new addition. Namely the table in front of the Asari that had a stripper pole sticking from it as a _very _flexible human with shoulder length red-hair danced skillfully on it. The woman was wearing the same outfit as the other dancing Asari, only her's was white. "I knew it." John drawled as he face palmed. Both Jacob and Miranda were shocked to see a human stripper of all things dancing for Aria.

"That's close enough Shepard, can't be too careful that could be anyone under that face." Aria drawled as the red-head skillfully hung upside down on the pole.

"You just want to get out of paying me the woman drawled as she sensually grinded on the pole and turned to the face-palming John. John shook his head and crossed his arms as the woman smirked back at him with crimson eyes glittering with amusement. "Hey John, I finally learned how to dance!"

"I can see that." John said dryly.

"You know her Shepard?" Jacob questioned as he turned to the Commander.

"Jacob, Miranda….meet the second human Spectre." John began as the Cerberus operatives gaped at him; Miranda looked like something had blown up in front of her. "Jane Shepard…my wife."

"Hey what was the rule John?" Jane questioned as she raised an eyebrow. If there are any beautiful Asari within ten feet of me never refer to me with the W word." Jane said making John chuckle and Aria smirk. Jane released the pole and hopped back to land next to Aria with practiced ease. "So…" Jane began with a smirk.

"Yes?" John questioned as he crossed his arms.

**! RENEGADE ACTION!**

"…You ready to fuck shit up?"

**Pause**

Well that's that, don't expect a quick update from me. At least until Spidey is done. Hopefully Jorn can build on to this without the need of my help.

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~RebukeX7


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